Minimalism? Oh Fuck It, Let’s Buy Stuff.

Empty room

I grew up poor. Like…in conditions that you don’t even associate with being possible in a first world country.

Abandoned building in Detroit poor. “Running water? What the hell is it running from?” poor. Three siblings glued together on a dirty mattress in front of an open oven in the kitchen in December CAUSE WE GONNA DIE! poor.

It has given me an appreciation of things. Physical things. Amazing, tangible things.

I swear to God, for the first five years I had a dryer, I legit used to take out all the clean towels and just lay in the pile, purring. “Where’s DGGYST?” “She fell asleep in the towels again.”

Cats cuddling in a towel

I’m firmly out of my towel fixation. (That’s a dirty lie. May I never become so jaded as to not appreciate warm clean towels.) My love of creature comforts continues, but I am trying put that aside. After all, happiness is an inside job. I’m going to try forest bathing, a vow of silence, a retreat of the spiri…oh fuck it let’s buy stuff!

Wait wait wait, let’s talk about minimalism

I would consider myself a good millennial. I eat avocado toasts, have a yoga mat, and use #adulting. So naturally, I’m into minimalism.

Minimalism is soooo hot right now.

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The message has been pretty clear: Things don’t make you happy. Buy experiences. You can’t fill the void with material things. And I am all about it.

I’m pretty sure we are onto something with the whole “You can’t just buy stuff and expect your life to improve” thing. It brings to mind closets stuffed to the brim with fast fashion, unopened boxes from Amazon piling up in a corner, rhinestoned coffee mugs etched with one’s initials, death, etc.

I understand the light that has been brought to overconsumption. It is a real problem.

But…

st-vincent-new-york

I have found that certain purchases really have brought me happiness. I fear that with minimalism, there is this guilt attached to purchasing anything slightly indulgent. It sounds like a dirty thing to write, even. Stuff makes me happy. Certain stuffs. The whole fucking process. Thinking about buying it, hunting it down like a cheetah, acquiring it, and then enjoying it and continuing to enjoy it.

Anytime I start to even play the shame game, I know I need a swift kick in the ass. And if I am playing the shame game, God knows you are playing it too, because humans are weirdly connected like that.

So here: these are evil stuffs things I have bought, would buy again, would pay three times what I paid for them, and make me happy!

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Helix Sleep king size bed

I am what you might call a “bed monster”

I have a prolific case of night terrors. It’s not a cute case of, “Ooh I’m so dainty, I wake up scared and out of breath but my cleavage looks perky and I just need some arms around me to calm me down.” I will wake up screaming bloody murder about crab cakes eating me and then use physical violence on anyone who tells me to go to sleep because crab cakes rarely attack humans.

Having the freedom to finally hurl myself about like Linda Blair on my expansive mattress has made me the happiest woman who thinks she is being eaten by crab cakes around. This fucking bed is amazing. It’s cheap AF, customized for your body, and delivered right to your door. I love it.

Foam roller

You know how we all fucking hate those self-massage devices but we have to pretend to enjoy them? And how they are all just a sad substitute for the human touch we knead (see what I did there?)?

I hate self-massage devices. Touch me with your human-y goodness and get that plastic crap away from me.

But the foam roller. Holy God. Let me tell you about the foam roller. The foam roller is for sick fucks like me who can’t get enough pressure from human touch. This thing will massage you deeper than any human could, and it hurts soooooo good. It legit makes you euphoric. I use it on my lower back, which has plagued me for years. Two minutes rolling it around on my low back and I experience happiness. Actual happiness.

Sun tunnels

I love natural indoor light. I also like not staring at my neighbors watching TV or taking dumps (put some blinds on your bathroom window, Mrs. Johnson!).

But the cost and upkeep of a skylight scared me worse than human-eating crab cakes. So I decided to have sun tunnels put in (or, as I call them, “Happy Holes”).

They cast this beautiful, diffused, glorious light around my home. They make me happy. Every. Single. Day.

BodyCeuticals chocolate lip balm

I don’t like to throw the word “addiction” around. So when I tell you I have a chapstick addiction, it means something. I remember the great chapstick drought of 2012. I was staying at a friends house and had somehow lost my chapstick and went hunting for hers. She had none. None! (How is that possible) The jonesing got so bad I found her “goody drawer” and rubbed her lube on my lips. Please feel free to unfollow me.

Needless to say, my lips have been around the ol’ chapstick block. Then I met this chapstick. Gone are the days of rubbing random people’s sexual lubricant on my mouth. Gone are the days of carrying eight different lip balms around so I may partake in the lustful variety. Now, I am committed. The actual subtle chocolate essence of this unassuming balm makes me happy.

Playing the shame game

I may never understand why the other side to every coin is shame. What do we need it for? What purpose does it serve that it permeates every aspect of our life? We can’t just eat chia seed oatmeal for breakfast, we have to shame breakfast burritos. We can’t just practice yoga, we have to tell runners they are ruining their bodies. We can’t just “not kill people,” we have to lock up murderers… I’m sorry, one of those does not belong in here. Running is truly terrible for you and should not be attempted in any degree.

It is ok to buy things and to derive happiness from them. I don’t think we should shame each other or ourselves (and that’s the big one) So Damn, Girl, get your shit together and enjoy it.


What thing have you bought has brought you happiness? Stay tuned every Thursday for more unsolicited advice about shit you didn’t know you were doing wrong, and follow DGGYST on Facebook for more musings!

161 thoughts on “Minimalism? Oh Fuck It, Let’s Buy Stuff.

  1. Shoes. Shoes bring me happiness. And statement earrings. And bold lipsticks that don’t make my lips look like a prolapsed vagina. AND skincare – any magical potion that acts as a restraining order against age – I’m all over it, I love it, and it makes me lie in my 1000TC Egyptian Cotton sheets with a damn big smile on my face.
    Also, any person who doesn’t feel the bliss of freshly laundered sheets and towels is not a person to be friends with x

    Liked by 6 people

  2. Hahahaha I fricking love you!!! It’s like you are in my head. I struggle with minimalism too. I am on this constant cycle of purging and then realizing I have given away all of my creature comforts. Dr. Bronner soap, good shoes, a large collection of books and throw pillows make me happy! I am now embracing the idea of Hygge over mininalism. You should check it out.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. I seriously have a girl crush right now. We have no reason to be ashamed of buying anything that makes us happy. It’s your money, do what you want with it! I know all about the bed luxury. Our bed was NOT inexpensive, and we’re still paying on it, but I love to crawl in bed, and adjust the height of the head, or my feet…adjustables ftw. And I’d pay for that suite on our anniversary cruise all over again. It was Fab. U. Lous. Be you, buy what gives you joy, and give no fucks.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Lol- girl last night words out of my 58 year old mother “chelsea sometimes a woman just has to buy something to buy something for happiness” hey it might only bring temporary joy but sometimes a girl just needs to buy a new pair of pants to feel like a new person 😘

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Reading this made me realize that I have way too many notebooks AND sets of multisided dice. Both things in particular give me great joy because I’ll never run out of paper when I need it, and I’ll always be prepared for that sudden game of Dungeons&Dragons I didn’t know I was going to play. Like, I could try to be minimalist, but I’ve given up and thrown out different things during so many moves that I kinda wanna hold on to my things as long as I can.
    Ah well, no shame in spending money on things you like and you’re gonna use! ^^

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Buying Video Games and going to movies. Being able to immerse myself in a story is what brings me happiness, but at the moment I’m starting to feel that guilt you talk about. I decided to leave my full time job to work part time so that I could have more time to do what I want, but now I have a smaller income. So I beat myself up (internally) every time I buy something.

    It’s all about budgeting, but not cutting things out completely. Thanks for sharing your experience! Really helped to put things into perspective 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I’m a terrible millennial. Partially because I only eat avocado when it’s guacamole on a taco, partially because I don’t own a yoga mat, but mostly because I’ve been #adulting since about 1988. And we barely hash-tagged anything back then.

    But I do love shopping. Especially when I can do it Amazon-Prime style and get it in two days, free shipping. Just this last week I received five packages. It could be a new book, an action figure to add to my geeky collection, a Hoover WindTunnel, a Rams jersey, a new tablet (tablets make me VERY happy!), an entire shed (arrived last Thursday, no joke!), a dragon statue for the missus, high heels, a step ladder, beer coozys, festive jingle collars for the dogs … anything. I get a sick thrill out of clicking “Place Your Order.”

    I just ordered a random can of WD-40 while we were talking. For the f* of it. Guaranteed delivery, 9/25. Life is good. 😎

    So, I’m with you, sister(s). Shop away! Happiness starts inside, but stuff can make me happy. Maybe I’ll go order a yoga mat right now.

    If all else fails, it can double as a doggy bed. 😉

    http://www.tombeingtom.com/

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Weird but true, my shame game begins in the toy section. Not that kind of toy. Actual toys for my kid. I will spend a ridiculous amount of money on toys he does not need. I know this is not exactly what you were talking about but I feel guilty after because I spend so much damn money EVERY TIME. Though I am very interested in the foam roller now. Amazon, here I come!

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  9. FUCK MY LAPTOP!!!! Here is the whole comment. *insert eye roll*

    The fact that you rubbed your friend’s lube on your lips is EXACTLY why people SHOULD follow you. I am seriously dying. And halleluiah…I am so sick of people shaming each other. I love that you wrote this because it is so important that we fucking support each other rather than voice our nobody-fucking-asked-you opinions!!! Running is one of my true loves, and in 2010 I ran a marathon, and the amount of shit I took from people was ridiculous. ‘They are my knees, and if I want to wreck them, I WILL!’ Ugh, I got so sick of it! Anyway, I say shop and enjoy and don’t feel bad about treating yourself to the things you love. STOP THE SHAME. Christ, we are one Rocket Man tweet away from a mushroom cloud of oblivion, so what the fuck, right?? You are the best, and I love the way you think so much. Thanks for the laugh and the encouragement to be ourselves!! xoxo

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Oh my God, Rocket man. SMH. I totally can’t even. Lol. My sister read my post today and was like “is that lube thing true?” And I’m like …..”maybe….ok, totally” lol. Times were tough haha! You ran a marathon! Damn girl!!!! Like, the whole thing? Cause even doing a 5K would impress me!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I love you, and I love this. I actually choked on my coffee during your chapstick/lube story. I could feel the desperation, lmao. Are you from Detroit? Running is the actual Worst. Why is cardio so terrible? (This comment is all over the place, sorry!) And I totally agree that we shouldn’t shame ourselves/others for indulging or enjoying /things/. Things are great! Sometimes, I definitely overindulge, though, and just end up feeling cluttered and mad at myself for overspending.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I was only allowed to play in the backyard or ride my bike between my two next door neighbors’ houses, haha. We moved to 9 and Harper (St Clair Shores) when I was thirteen, then Shelby Twp when I was 14. I’ve moved around “Metro Detroit” loads, lol. I also lived in New Orleans for five years for college. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. College. 🙂 They seemed to have a good writing program (nope) and college atmosphere (nope), and they gave me a great scholarship (hell nope). I loved the city and surrounding areas, but the school itself screwed me over loads.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I don’t think we should ever be ashamed for enjoying something that brings us comfort or happiness! We are human, and we love our stuff! I’ve been dying to get a new bed and mattress, I haven’t quite been able to afford one though. But anytime I’m out at a store I physically have to lay on every mattress and every mattress is always more comfortable than my old, twin mattress that’s 20some years old. One day.
    But you know what, money makes me happy in a way because I feel more secure when I actually have it in the bank

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Love this! but I think you went overboard on the unopened boxes from Amazon! Never, no matter how cluttered things get, I will never let a box of new mail order goodies go unopened. 😀

    So, just today I went to the dollar store and loaded up on incense. I also bought a few colorful and scented candles. Incense is a much needed necessity around here though with the skunk population. You can be sound asleep and be awoken by an intense waft of stink in the middle of the night. Even with the window shut, the smell seeps through the cracks from my window air conditioner unit. Lighting some sage does the trick momentarily. But a long burning stick of incense is still needed.

    Yesterday I finally received a big box from Mountain Rose herbs. A huge bag of nettle leaf (for tea), a nebulizer for essential oil aromatherapy and some rose hips. Gotta get that vitamin C. I also bought a big bag of earl grey tea and an infuser for someone as a gift.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I must be a bad millennial then. I do have a yoga mat, but I am far from minimalistic. I tend to buy everything I like, even if I don’t actually need it. I think I have the opposite problem. Absolutely no shame / guilt / control. Maybe this is another lesson on balance and moderation lol

    Liked by 2 people

  14. A little indulgence never hurt anyone. I wouldn’t mind trying your mattress as long as you weren’t flailing around on it. Besides, I don’t want to feel like a creepy old man. OTOH the foam roller sounds nice. Seems like you should know a person who could apply that to your back so you could fully enjoy the effect with little or no effort on your part. I am sure there would be more than one willing to oblige. While I like light I am not particularly fond of holes in the roof. The lip balm would be more fun to sample on someone else. JMHO.

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  15. BOOKS!! I’m a book hoarder. It simply can’t be helped.

    I also buy Jessica Simpson shoes from ebay and/or Poshmark because they are cheap and they fit my feet well. So what that I have green suede ones, cobalt blue ones, fuscia ones ……….. and 2 pairs of red. No fucks given.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I laughed hysterically reading this, I think you might need a disclaimer because I almost spat coffee on my keyboard… hey wait!! what the heck am I doing drinking coffee it is after 5pm, where is my wine…? Oh anyway my extremely frivolous but lovely purchase was a delightful coffee mug with a butterfly on it. It does not matter than I already have 4 coffee cups with butterflies on them and it does not matter that in December when I go home I am going to have to give it away because I cannot take it with me. I am still going to love and adore it for a few months first!! Absolutely NO shaming from me 🙂

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  17. I purchased a sugar scrub from Bath & Body Works a while back, & I was immediately obsessed. I think I have over 10 now. Everytime I use them I feel super soft. They’re expensive, even on the “buy 7 get 14 free” deal Bath & Body Works is always running – but to me, they’re worth it.
    If you haven’t tried them, you should! 🙂
    I also bought a pair of Joe’s jeans once, and they’re so soft I could sleep in them.
    I’m sure I’ll think of more – LOL
    .xo.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. I don’t fancy the ‘race to the bottom’ type minimalism, but then, I think most minimalists don’t. It’s more about getting rid of all the random crap that’s drifted into the net of your life so you can get to those lovely silvery fish. As it were. I’ve got plenty of random crap still to get rid of, but that doesn’t stop me buying yarn, or tea!

    Liked by 4 people

  19. That’s so damn funny about the lube! Knowing my luck if I tried that it would burn my lips if I tried to used it as chapstick. 😀 I always seem to have allergic reactions to things so I would have been worried to have tried that.

    I’m not sure why people shame others or themselves, maybe it is just something to do. I just do want any part of it. To hell with them.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. I really get what you’re saying 🙂

    But as a diehard minimalist of 3+ years, there’s nothing wrong at all about getting enjoyment from stuff (even LOTS of enjoyment from stuff!).

    The point of minimalism is that, by getting rid of the crap in your life you don’t need and don’t enjoy, you get to appreciate the really GOOD stuff more.

    So for me, I don’t gorge myself on cheap chocolate any more. I just buy the really great stuff occasionally and enjoy it a lot more (and I’m not so fat, which I also enjoy!). I have more space in my drawers and wardrobe for the clothes I actually wear and that fit me. I have kitchen drawers with stuff in them I actually USE. And so on.

    Works for me 🙂 The moment you start figuring out what you really enjoy and what is just STUFF and a waste of time and space, you’re kinda sorta on your way to becoming a minimalist, to my way of thinking.

    Thanks for a great post, BTW 🙂

    Cheers, from Dunedin New Zealand.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. I think it’s interesting that almost all of the things you bought are used to aid you in relaxing: a big bed on which to hurl yourself, a back massager, natural light (which aids in combating depression). Even the chocolate in the lip balm might help in that regard.

    My communications teacher recently asked us if money can buy happiness, then told us about a study. Things don’t bring us happiness, but TIME does. Having extra time to relax and do things we enjoy makes us happy. So, maybe it’s not the things that are bringing you happiness, but the way you use them. Would you still love that bed as much if it just sat in the corner and you never slept on it? Probably not. It’s probably the act of not slamming yourself into a wall, loved one, or onto the floor that brings you the joy.

    That’s not to say that buying shit isn’t enjoyable. And absolutely fuck anyone who tries to make someone else feel bad about their purchases, no matter how frivolous they may seem. I didn’t steal your credit card, motherfucker, what do you care that I went shopping again? Like, no, I didn’t need to spend $250 on Halloween decorations, but I am going to giggle like a fat kid in a chocolate shop (okay… I’m going to giggle like ME in a chocolate shop) while I’m setting everything up and watching everything looking awesome. No, those boxes of light up houses don’t make me particularly happy, but seeing trick-or-treaters’ eyes bug out of their little costumed faces sure as fuck will.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Credit my communications teacher lol! I was always like of COURSE money can buy happiness. If I had money I wouldn’t have to worry about shit like whether I can pay my rent AND eat, so I could do things I actually enjoy. And then he told us about the “time not things” study and I was like, “Huh, that makes sense” lol!

        Liked by 1 person

  22. Wow, I really needed this. This is actually really relevant to my life right now, because I haven’t worked for the last month and a half, and I have no money, but I just bought a face mask that I don’t really need, but I just needed to buy something to make me feel better. There’s not a particular thing that I love buying, just the act of buying something (the searching, the choosing, the triumph of the find) gives me a high. Actually, I take that back, I love expensive lotions and body washes. I buy the fuck out of some Dr. Bronner’s. Sigh, I really need to reevaluate my life choices.

    Liked by 4 people

  23. I’m so on the Minimalism bandwagon after cleaning my moms house after her passing, I swear, she kept stuff that literally was so old it’d disintegrate upon human touch, not to mention unnecessary. Yeah, I get into all that on the spiritual level too, as I secretly hord crystals that I don’t believe do squat for anybodys Chakra blah blah blah just cause they’re pretty. mmmm-Hmmm, and don’t take away my high end make up and hair care products that I’ll smuggly tell you are a waste of your money, as I waste mine. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I’ve never really cared about having a lot of stuff, although I am far from a minimalist. But when I moved to China last year and had to condense my entire household down to the only 4 suitcases we were bringing with us, I quickly realized how much crap I had accumulated. I felt no shame about it, but couldn’t believe how much stuff I had that I never EVER used.

    Now, I live in a Beijing apartment the size of a Ford Escort glove compartment, so I have to keep my possessions down to a minimum, but I know that when the day comes that I move back to the States I will fill that house again. Looking forward to it.

    Liked by 4 people

  25. I love this post (as usual) and really appreciate the perspective you lend to the classism and even insensitivity/tone deafness that comes with pushing “minimalist” lifestyles in a country where many people live without basic necessities. I’ve discovered over the years that regardless of one’s orientation to “stuff,” having some amount of balance can make having a lot of stuff or a little stuff work for you. My partner Jason is definitely a “maximalist” and I’m beginning to appreciate his appreciation for all kinds of things; if he actually loves and uses it, there’s no reason not to have it, especially if we’ve ever had to live without. Thanks again for being you 🙂

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  26. *Applauds* yes, absolutely! I think the problem with deciding to *be* something (like, for example, a minimalist) is that people then feel guilty if they do anything that seems not to align with those values. But that sucks the nuance out of life and makes it no fun. I think it’s fine to buy things you want and be happy about it (and I 100% second a good bed as one of the best things to buy). I think it’s also fine to sometimes have a clearout of accumulated crap. But I don’t think it’s fine to feel ashamed of liking stuff. So, yay! Buying things! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  27. I hate that minimalism has turned into this shame thing. I love the idea of minimalism. I’m moving soon, and in order to facilitate that in the easiest way possible, I’m essentially selling most of my stuff so everything I own fits in my car. I’m excited about that, I’ve gotten rid of a lot of stuff that is really just cluttering up my life. At the same time, I don’t believe you should stop buying things altogether. I also don’t believe that you should totally avoid buying expensive things. I do, however, feel like we need to evaluate our purchases more. Your kick ass mattress? Hell yes, you go girl! Sleep is important, you can’t l survive without it. Spend money on that bed. If you really truly fall in love with something, buy it. If it brings you serious joy, buy it! However, if you just want that iPhone because god forbid you be the only one of your friends without it, even though you hate all the new features, forget it! Or if you like this set of fancy silverware because it will make you look cooler for a minute, or that set of monogrammed bath towels that will be cool for a week, don’t waste your time or money. I’m all for minimalism, but I feel like true minimalism gives you space in your life to really truly buy the things you want and need. We really need to quit worrying about what other people are doing though…if you’re not hurting me or anyone else, why the hell do I care? Run, do yoga, be vegan, smash breakfast burritos, I don’t give a shit! We don’t need to shame people, just do you!

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  28. I am absolutely in love with my vintage cameras and my collection of candlesticks. Every time I see or use them, I feel happy. My books are like extra limbs. I’ve lost them before and I didn’t feel a weight lifted; I was sad as hell. My bike has been a winning purchase as well. Honestly, I love beautiful things. I don’t spend a lot of money on them– it’s mostly thrift store finds, but I love to be surrounded by stuff that’s pretty to look at. I’m having a huge garage sale soon to get rid of all the unnecessary stuff and I think that’ll make me feel better about the things that I do have. One day, I’m going to buy a beautiful velvet couch and make sweet love to it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Haha! I almost purchased this gorgeous red velvet couch that belonged on the set of a vampire movie, but it was terribly uncomfortable (but I still think about it haha) And clutter sucks, clutter robs you have your “stuff joy” because it all becomes unusable. And I think I need to do a post on clutter because I hope I didn’t come off as a clutter bug lol

      Like

      1. Sometimes I still think about some of the things I had to leave behind as well. I shed a little tear on the inside. You didn’t come off as a clutter bug. You mentioned 3 things you’ve bought that have made your life more enjoyable. I won’t be recommending you for that show Hoarders just yet, don’t you worry. I’m getting to a need to purge point in my life. But it’s mostly stuff I bought to resell and slacked or fell so much in love with. I’ve been posting on OfferUp and FB all day!

        Liked by 1 person

  29. Oh dear. This is a topic I’ve been sitting on for EVER. Because I wouldn’t even know where or how to start lol. I am legit ADDICTED to material stupidities that make me happy. I mean ANYTHING. I was raised around absent and ignorant adults who replaced their time and affection with shopping for used books at the Goodwill or splurging at the Dollar Tree or Kmart. Yea- I was SPOILED. (Lmao). But my mother raised me like this! “If you’re sad- just make a purchase” it doesn’t matter if it’s fucking GUM, a 675th mascara, a T-shirt or an entire island (wishful thinking) the point is- I AM IN CONTROL in that moment, and not whatever is making me sad and petty. Sigh. The struggles! But I’m not ashamed of it. And when my fiancé is all like “did you really NEED this?!” I’m all like “MY SOUL NEEDED IT. Back the fuck off!” Lol #truelife

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Its such a balancing act. This life lol On one hand, you see these people garage sailing themselves into a garbage heap and on the other hand you have people feeling guilty for every tiny purchase they make. Humans are such extremists! lol I don’t have a cluttered house but I do have lots of clothes. I mean, I wear them, and love them, but I have a lot of them and sometimes buying a new sweater will lift me out of a funk lol. And that is just going to have to be ok for now. (Side note: Lets make a pact to visit each others houses in 20 years to make sure we aren’t buried in junk)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lmao!! Yes it’s the same for me! My house is super organized and SIMPLE- my addictions are related to face creams, cosmetics, notebooks, BOOKS, and CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES LOL!!! All the rest is MEH. And yes- let’s NEVER be hoarders!!

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  30. Just came across your blog from a comment you made on Elena Peters’ blog 🙂 Love this post. It made me laugh and think at the same time. I totally get the shame thing. My mum had to be careful with spending money when we were young as our father died and finances were tight. Now, I can tie myself up in so many knots when I see something I’d like to buy. I go through a thing of “but do I NEED it?”. Well, what’s wrong with buying something just because I like it?? I definitely need to check out that chocolate lip balm and if they sell it in the UK!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. I love this so much! I bought myself a (pink!) Kate Spade bag and matching wallet when things were going better for us financially and I have been shaming myself about it pretty hard lately. Trying to talk myself into selling them because I have no business having nice things when things are a little rough. Honestly, though, they make me happy when I use them, which would be daily. They also help me feel like I fit in when I am at business networking events. So, they are staying! I’d rather sell a kidney or something.

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  32. Ok, first of all…I am this girl!!! I didn’t grow up ‘poor’ in the way you did, but everything had a price tag on it. I was reminded how much my braces cost like daily (but fuck, had that investment not been made, things would have just gotten ugly…like literally. And for some reason, I have this whole war victim/genocide mentality (not to make light of mass murder!!!) NOTHING can go to waste, like nothing. If there is a questionable item in the fridge, well, i’ll just blend it into something that doesn’t require that I look/smell it. I know…that freakish. With this comes the whole, I cannot buy anything until what it is replacing is completely gone. Toothpaste, perfume, laundry detergent, coffee creamer. You simply will never see two of ANYTHING in my place.
    Which brings me to your bed. Holy effing shit! I can’t wrap my head around it, really. I can honestly say every single mattress I have ever owned was most definitely not purchased….and god knows how many bodies had occupied it before mine. My justification? Well, I slept on the floor in Ghana, okay, there was a padded thing underneath me. But I survived, right? I mean, I don’t sleep anyway, so does it really matter if I’m in a cushy bed or a concrete floor? And besides, what about all those people sleeping with 3 kids at their feet all around me? Most only had red dirt and a hard ground as their pillow. Why should I have a comfy bed?
    Shame? Yea, got that one down.
    But then, there are shoes. Shame has no place here. Boots, platforms, my gypsy clogs, cute rain boots, cuter snow boots…Fucking shoes. And no, they are not cheap, and all ethical, ‘I really shouldn’t wear leather’ standards are off the table. They are going to be the highest quality, most sought after shoes out there. There is really only word that comes to mind when we are talking about shoes.
    Shameless.
    So there’s my guilty, shameful pleasure that I proudly flaunt and fully expect to hear on a daily basis, ‘oh my god, those shoes are adorable’. And I just smile, look down at my feet with this coy look on my face…”Thank you so much, that’s so sweet of you.” Or, sometimes it’s not even worth it…I just 100% agree with them. ‘I know! Aren’t they effing amazing!’
    I’m admittedly just a fashion/clothes whore in general, but take pride in the fact that I buy almost 75% my wardrobe at thrift/consignment stores…I mean, cause who am I to buy something new or have something nice that I paid full price for?
    Okay, so now. Questions.
    What the fuck is a sun tunnel?! My apartment is so dark, it is killing my soul!!! It sounds like maybe more than a temporary rental might warrant, but just the sound of it makes me happy.
    And the chapstick, well how the hell could I not be intrigued. My ONE chapstick is nearing its end and you throw chocolate in the mix. I mean, why are we even having this conversation…
    The only one I can’t get my head around though, my girl, is the effing foam roller!! Um, that thing has been moved around probably 20 times, packed and unpacked…and probably has been used like twice, and only out of sheer desperation, because if I didn’t do it, then I wouldn’t be able to run.
    So, there you have it. We are not in fact, the same person. ;o) I kinda LOVE running, like a lot.. And i think foam rollers are pure evil.
    Thanks for reminding me that I deserve my fucking shoes. And I think I just might have to order some chocolate lip balm before mine has exhausted its capacity to moisturize without cutting into my lips because there is nothing left but plastic!!
    Keep indulging, you beautiful thing, in all things luxurious, decadent and frivolous!! You 100% deserve it!!

    Liked by 1 person

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