It’s safe to say that my husband and I come from very different sides of the track. His upbringing was firmly upper middle class and my upbringing was firmly skipping class to go to work ‘cuz I got siblings and someone has to feed these damn kids.
It was ten years ago this winter, that I trekked up to my husbands beautiful little mountain town to spend Christmas with his family.
But first, a tale from the Ghosts of Christmases past;
I was raised between the foster care system and the streets. Most of my Christmases were spent in the faded lime green or grey walled buildings of mental institutions visiting my mentally ill mother. We used to drink dixie cups of chicken “soup” that came out of the vending machine next to the coffee and hold hands across metal tables, carefully supervised. My mother would give us bright little drawings she made.
Other Christmases spent in children’s shelters and homes were more eventful. Socks, toothbrushes, packages of underwear, new sheets, and one year a boombox from the local fire department; my pride and joy. Need-based gifts were the name of the game and there were no complaints from me.
So when I spent my first “real Christmas” with my then boyfriend, now husband, at the tender age of nineteen, I was still fresh from the Christmases of my childhood and totally unprepared for what was about to happen.
May your christmases be white…people. Fucking white people.
With presents reaching well into the branches of the tree and spilling out across the living room, I was excited. It brought out the kid in me, who seriously needed a new toothbrush and couldn’t imagine how many could possibly be in there, at least a lifetime’s worth.
The beautiful packages made their way around the room and I tore into mine with glee.
That’s when I unwrapped my Dora the Explorer backpack.
Shiny and new, I stared at the bright plastic face of Dora looking up at me. A price tag dangled from the the little purple straps, too small to go around my arm. I looked around the room, flummoxed.
The parents unwrapped their giant felt hats shaped like weiner dogs as my husband tore into his shot glasses that had holes in the bottom.
This went on for an hour. SpongeBob Squarepants bowling sets. A penguin blankee that had a funny looking child photographed on the packaging. “He looks constipated,” they all laughed.
My husband looked over at me. I can’t imagine the expression I must have had on my face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I don’t understand what is happening,” I whispered, flipping my box of Chewbacca flavored gum over and over in my hand.
“They are jokes!” he said.
“Jokes?”
“Yea, you know, gag gifts.”
Well that explains the throw-up in my mouth
Suddenly I had entered a world in which there were no needs left, and it left me reeling. I excused myself after the merrymaking and lifted a cigarette from my mother-in-law’s hidden stash.
I walked briskly around the well-to do neighborhood puffing on my Winston Light. What had just happened? Why had it left me so ridden with anxiety?
That’s when I realized the great generational divide of the millenial. How we were truly the Children of The Recession.
I realized how difficult it was to not qualify these gifts as resources. I thought of the labor it took to make fake dog poo, the oil burnt to ship it from 5,000 miles away. I thought of the $34 for the backpack, the $4 for the gum, the $68 for the SpongeBob Squarepants bowling set and how that was a week’s worth of groceries or a student loan payment, or a trip to the dentist.
I realized that “it’s the thought that counts” was a privilege not largely known to millennials.
It’s a conspiracy I tell you, a conspiracy!
I’m pretty sure gag gifts are a giant conspiracy. They allow people to put no thought into what they are doing or buying, and then hide behind “it’s the thought that counts.”
Furthermore, no one is allowed to call bulshit because “it’s Christmas” and mindless consumerism and insensitivity is concealed by the “Christmas rule” (or the “Santa Clause,” if you will).
Where’s your sense of humor?
Firmly intact, I’m proud to say. I like irreverent crap as much of as the next hipster. Last year my sister got a giant care package of dish soaps, sponges, anti-bac, and assorted cleaning products that said, “You dirty dirty bitch” on the label.
But whether you like it or not, we live in a time of limited resources. Whether that is cutting down trees to make your mini-drink coasters, or understanding that 49 percent of people in this country live paycheck to paycheck, Americans are way overdue for a swift kick in the ass when it comes to buying mindless shit.
What you can do instead:
Give a service.
Massages, dance classes, language lessons, pedicures, etc. all put money in the hands of other working class schmucks like us and provide your giftee with a valuable, enjoyable experience.
Find out what they make.
People are makers. Supporting someone’s passion, someones artistry, is one of the most valuable and touching things you can do. Someone who gets the gift that supports their passion feels listened to and understood. If you don’t know what someone makes, you aren’t paying attention.
Find out what they need.
Again, this might actually require you to listen to the people in your life, or even visit them in their own surroundings. If they complain about how the value bottles of VO5 are wreaking havoc on their hair, but they just can’t afford Kiehl’s, you got yourself a walking talking christmas list.
When they don’t need anything:
I’m not trying to shame anyone. Well..maybe a little. I WILL INFLICT MY CHILDHOOD UPON YOU AND MAKE YOU CRY!
No, really, I think gift giving is great. You don’t need to be a monk. Enjoy your indulgences, and enjoy indulging others. I wanted to make a practical list of indulgences that make great gifts for those of you who struggle with the first-world problem of “what to get someone who has everything.”
For the outdoorsman or glamper:
These are for the person who enjoys being in the out of doors in the winter months, but not too far from the comforts of technology. They can listen to their music or have a conversation while braving the weather and not have to get freezing cold hands and ears.
For the Chronic Sufferer:
The acupressure mat provides instant pain relief that thousands of people swear by. Useful for headaches, back pain, and stress relief and as a sleep aid, this unique gift can really brighten up someone’s holiday.
For the beauty addict:
There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who never use chapstick, and the kind who are addicted to chapstick. The Marshmallow Treat chapstick is vegan, organic, cruelty free and is just sweet enough to be festive and celebratory, never sickeningly sweet.
What useful, thoughtful gifts are you giving this season?
I love this so much. I’ve been binge reading your posts over the last few days in my free time. Love your writing style, sense of humor and genuine concern for doing good. Everything you write makes so much sense. Seriously good stuff.
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Thank you so much Chelsea! Thank you for your support!
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Agreed. Love every post I read.
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Thank you so much!❤❤❤
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Lol this is why more people need to buy you coffee once and awhile now! Hope all is well and this was an awesome story. Love the in-depth look at your life and the fucking wasteful world we live in. 😂❤️
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Haha! I am still high on your coffees mama!
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“May your christmases be white…people. Fucking white people.”
I sharted!!! Bwahahahahaha!! And you ain’t said nothing but a word. I have thankfully managed to avoid white Christmases my entire life. White Thanksgivings are another story filled with all the despair and none of the seasoning or macaroni and cheese.
But I do like this gift guide and the principles of giving espoused. My mother should read this before buying me one more tchotchke from her trips to Amish country and craft fairs, and calling it my Christmas gift.
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“Sharted” That’s a word I need to put back into my vocabulary! hhahsahahaa! Oh god, the amish crafts, not the amish crafts!!
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My mother must be stopped.
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I get called Scrooge for expressing these kinds of thoughts! Great post
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Oh yes, that’s how they silence you. No one wants to be the Grinch lol!
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“You dirty dirty bitch.” LMAO 😂 I once sent my brother a giant adult diaper. The first one was free to try LOL
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Ahh this is just brilliant. I’ve actually never had gag gifts in my life! Seen plenty on the shelves but I’d much rather get a thoughtful Christmas present, even if it’s a lifetime’s worth of toothbrushes. xx
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Preach it ! I can’t even wrap my head around the idea of a gag gift for Christmas ! It doesn’t take much to make a gift mean a lot !
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Exactly! I love getting things that are handmade too!
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Love love love!!! I grew up borderline poverty most of my life and gag gifts, especially expensive ones, blow my mind.
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Lee, yes!! I felt strangely “hurt” after this particular Christmas. I couldn’t wrao my mind around it. Thank you for sharing my pain ❤
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As always, I was moved by your humour and heart. Your perspective is invaluable, and I admire it greatly. You are my Christmas hero, girl!! I have to say; I would be thrilled if someone mailed me a care package filled with personal hygiene products, and even more thrilled if it was tagged to ‘You dirty, dirty bitch!’ Fuck, aren’t the holidays magical?!
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You’re magical Tanya! I am just about to brew a cup of tea and give you a read! (SO EXCITED)
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I really swear you reach into my soul and pull out my own thoughts when you write, and somehow you are able to express them beautifully. When I open my mouth….dasjfear;h;tgjfgi… comes out. smh. Again thank you for sharing another great post!!!
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Rawwwww, thank you so much for this comment ❤❤ You are a graceful flower and a beautiful wordsmith, who jumps out of airplanes and puts my red hair to shame
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My childhood went from privileged to borderline poverty when I was a teenager. Christmas is still a weird time with my family. I have never understood the point of gag gifts unless they’re some sort of an inside joke between the gifter and giftee, I just don’t find them funny on the regular. A couple years ago my uncle bought all of us Chia Pets because he thought it was funny, and none of us could figure out why. Great post and thanks for the suggestions!
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Thank you for your comment! Wow, going from privileged to poverty in your teen years! what did that feel like?
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It was rough. I realized how much my family depended on my grandfather until he passed, and then my mom kinda has a shopping problem. We were already a single income family with my mom working full time and my dad stayed home with me and my 3 younger siblings. Then my mom ended up with herniated discs in her neck/back, and slowly over the years that had impeded her ability to work full time, so between that and the shopping there went the money my grandpa had left her. My mom now had full on fibromyalgia and has stopped working, my dad has tried to pick up the slack but it’s definitely been rough on all of them. Now that I’m out of the house and in some control of my finances I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to loan them money for bills or Christmas/Birthdays, but they’re just so far in the hole and have such bad communication skills that there’s not much else I can do.
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Oh jeez =( That’s so tough =( Espeically when you have younger siblings
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Yeah, it was not fun. But I’m grateful that one of the things instilled in me was a sense of awareness when it comes to waste, and the importance of being gracious, genuine, and generous. My grandpa was a Depression era kid who had nothing and when he was able to later in life he would give you the shirt off his back with no expectations or conditions. He spoiled you, and I know how privileged my youth was because of him. He didn’t buy things needlessly, he paid attention to what you liked and knew what you needed.
All this being said, I definitely bought my younger brother these hideous Pokémon slippers as part of his Christmas present this year because I know he’s gonna get a kick out of them 😂
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I once got an ex a book on the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous and a bottle of Bombay Sapphire for his birthday. You are right. Gag gifts only land when they have meaning.
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oh god, that’s bad lol!!! 😂😂😂
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Hey, he loved it.
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Those books do pair well with a nice stiff drink haha!
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For Father’s Day one year we got my dad a shirt that said “#3 Dad!” instead of #1, but it’s been a running joke in my family for years so he loved it!
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This is the reason I read blogs, man. Stories. This was so amazing, thank you so much for sharing it with us.
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❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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R ight?!… that’s exactly how i feel…❤
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Everyone has a story! Once again superbly written, and sassy! Well done!
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Thank you!!
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My Christmas experiences were better than yours, but clearly nowhere near your husband’s experience. I try to get things people actually need. If I’m financially momentarily flush I will get something more frivolous, but useful. Unfortunately the latter is rarely the case. Meanwhile, I seem to have everything I need so Christmas is a good excuse for a day off from work. That is a nice present in itself.
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The gift of time, the gift that keeps on giving…until you die…
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I’m hoping for another 20 years at this point, but you are right. Time is the big commodity.
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Loved this as always 😂 the first time I went to my boyfriend’s for Christmas the same thing happened and I was so pissed!
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God, really!! Tell me about it!
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Holy fuck. I love your blog so much but I have to say that when you delve into your childhood like you’ve done a couple of times I get sucked in even more. We all have times when I was growing up but we did have enough and even though we were nowhere near rich, I would still consider myself have been privileged as a child. My family is really big on giving gifts – luckily we’ve never done gag gifts – but as we’ve grown a little bit older we realize that we all have everything we need and tend to buy whatever we want when we want it! (Except me right now. Since I have no job. And I am a freeloader.) Last year my boyfriend and I decided not to give each other stupid extravagant gifts, and instead we sponsored a family in need. Not only was it so fun to get to buy kids presents again (let’s face it, wandering through the toy aisle is so fucking fun) but we knew we are helping people who could use a little help, and really deserved it. A week after Christmas I got a text message from the single mother we had sponsored, and it literally brought me to tears. This year we’re doing it with the entire family. No one’s buying each other gifts we don’t need, and instead we’re making Christmas a little brighter for a family who really needs it.
To anyone reading this who thinks that it might be kind of painful to give up your presents: I thought I would feel that way. But I absolutely did not.
K. Humblebrag over.
http://www.hashtagpanic.com
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Sorry for the typos there. I used my microphone app haha. It was not accurate.
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I LOVE YOU! You good good person! Yea, its so much more fun to shop for children and families in need then to get a family guy VHS set because it’s” ironic”
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I’m a firm believer that I can sometimes take life WAY too serious, but your point of view brings out my 😂 side! Thank you!
By the way, check out the twizzlers commercial where they say people are too serious…
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I will! Yea, I know I might be “Grinched” for this post, but we will see!
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In my opinion, your post is not “grinchy”. That’s your account of your experience. Too often, I feel we have allowed world views to sway us. I personally applaud your views. To me, it appears authentic!
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Thank you!
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I applaud your authenticity!! That’s simply your account of your experience!!
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Honestly, this resonated with me so deeply. Growing up my family Christmas party used to do gag gifts as a secret santa type thing. The issue I had when I got to the age where I was to participate was that I was 14, and couldn’t see the value- add of buying someone fake dog poo. I started doing paintings for whoever I got that year instead.
It also killed me that we did this because after my mom passed away we didn’t HAVE the money to spend, so we needed to give gifts that someone wasn’t just going to toss out. We wanted what we did have to make an impact.
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I am so sorry for your loss =( Thank you for this comment, I know there are a lot of us who the gag gifts hit hard, for different reasons
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I love that you gave artwork!!!!
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10 thumbs up! As I was reading about the gifts through your narrative I got my own case of anxiety. I love how easily I can relate to your experiences and how fresh your topics are
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Thank you so much for your support! I like to think of you surrounded by four friends, reading this with your thumbs up…or you having a whole bunch thumbs and being in the circus. Or you having one thumb that is ten times longer than usual thumbs….I’m done
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None. How thoughtful is that?
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Reblogged this on and commented:
This is hilarious, sad & oh so true. Enjoy
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Thank you so much!!!
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Oh my goodness! You are sensational! I feel like I’ve known you for years reading your posts. You’ve got a gift (: thank you for sharing your wit, humor, personality, and sass with all of us. Damn girl! (:
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Paige! I am so glad you commented Your blog is giving me life right now! I followed you!
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Thank you thank you! You totally inspire me. I’m absolutely in love with your voice. I’d love for us to stay close so I can learn from you 🙂 stay golden sweetheart and please keep reading 😘💛
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I love this!!!
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Every year my Husband’s family always gives each other hand made items, gift cards, tickets, or similar things and it’s usually limited to one per person (“person” being anyone who bothers to show up that year and firmly excluding any obligation to give gifts to those who don’t).
Compared to my own family’s stanch need to buy “the impractical practical” as I call it (like a 10th bag of socks or 3rd toothbrush that no one needed; things an adult can logically buy on their own, likely already has more than enough of, but which still make convenient and completely thoughtless gifts that allow you to feel better about yourself for not having money or time or care to put legitimate effort into it)? Honest to Gods, it’s been SO nice.
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Oooh, I love handmade gifts! Especially those fancy ass home made hot coco mason jars. lol But Anna, you can’t have too many toothbrushes! (Ok, maybe I have a toothebrush addiction?)
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Oh trust me. When you get 12 in one year you can deffinitely have too many XD XD
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I remember getting lots of presents as a kid and then when I was a teenager after the divorce of my parents and 5 year long custody battle for me and my sister. There was one year we spent Christmas homeless, with a car that mum forgot to save for registration and got booked for driving an unregistered vehicle. We slept in the car on the side of the road that Christmas eve and the. A friend said we could stay with them over Christmas (so lovely).
Mum felt awful because she later realised she left the only presents she could afford to get us (an outfit each) in the boot of the car.
I will never forget how mum felt that Christmas and I’m so grateful that we just spent it together as a family instead of opening needless gifts and not enjoying each other’s company.
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Good God! I don’t know what to say to this. I am so impressed by your gratitude, we all have a story don’t we?
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Absolutely! Your blog is so relatable and I love reading it! Thank you for being you because you’ve inspired me and my continuation to blog 🙂
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❤❤❤❤
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Such a thoughtful post! Thank you for writing this!
I didn’t even know there was such a thing as “gag gifts” and people actually spend money on it
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Wow! Yea, there are stores for them called “Spencers”
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Our main holiday here in Pakistan is Eid so yeah! Thanks for sharing 😊
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I love this so much. But then again I’m that mom that’s all “maybe Santa will have to bring you some toothpaste and undies”
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For real! Santa undies are like, the best thing ever!!!
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I wasn’t sure where you were going with this to start with, but once you got there it made me stop, and actually smile in that sad and content way that means “This lady gets it.” Reading about your hardships, where you have come from and where you are now – you truly are an inspiration for all women, everywhere.
Regarding presents: I’m a present whisperer, I put a lot of effort in finding the right present for every single person. This is because I grew up in a very middle class family with a very greedy and thoughtless mother – there was always money to be spent, as long as it was on her.
Since the moment I first started earning my own money, age 14, I made sure I spent my money on people in ways that mattered, especially at Christmas. Cause, as you say, when it comes to Christmas it is the thought that counts, and we should spend more time thinking about what people really need, not just what’s on a wishlist xx
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Bry, I just like to scare people with my childhood before I get to my point hahaha! Thank you so much for this comment, I bet you give great Gifts. Where did you start working at at age 14?
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I’m sorry the comment was a bit rambly – as you know it’s not an easy month for me!
And, I wouldn’t say you scare, so much as make people confront a reality they’re not comfortable with 😉
My first job was McDonalds! Lots of skipping school to get those dollars hahaha (I was earning AUD5.05 an hour!)
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Your comment was great! Damn, I need to do a better job if I’m not scaring people haha. There was a shark and a bear in the mental institution! Eh? eh? Oooooooh Mcdonalds, Damn! I am impressed, that looks like hard ass work!
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No work is that hard when you’re 14 years old, tiny and cute 😉
(I’m kidding – studying, dancing, singing, and working, takes a toll, as I am sure you know!)
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Again you are like the younger version of me, although I grew up in a middle to upper class family like your husband but I too would gag at that kind of Xmas in fact 15 years ago had to (as always) be the “bitch/grinch” in my family and say NO MORE!!! And since then the “it’s just something little” gifts have crept back in and once again I had to be the “bitch” and say DON’T buy us anything we don’t NEED anything! And I won’t be buying you anything and instead making donations to a worthy charity! Did you read my “I’m a Grinch” post ;). Love your blog! Keep up the good work!
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I missed that post! But I’m going to go find it right now!
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I feel this so hard.
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I loved this so much! I too was new to the gag gifts. It’s nice to see someone shares the same opinion of them! Love your posts, they legit make my day!
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While my childhood was not at the same level as yours, I did grow up missing meals most days, and trying to survive on money that my mum found on the street, and this post is so true. I don’t mind the odd funny gift, but when did money become so despensible that it doesn’t matter what its spent on?!! Love this post, you are an excellent writer 🙂
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Love your posts! They make my day!
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I feel I should point out that Jesus, God in Human Form, Mr Original Christmas himself, only got three gifts, and they were all of the put-away-for-a-rainy-day nest egg variety – no “here’s a big pile of crap you neither want nor need” for him.
The whole idea is bizarre – and frankly, painfully out of touch with the aching needs of the world.
These days we have a round-robin at Christmas: each adult buys one gift and receives one gift, and that way there’s more thought put into it and you don’t end up buried in dreck. But anyone can give a gift to the kids 🙂
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As ever, and with pure mastery, you pull humor from pain, you entertain and enlighten. Your resilience, wisdom and humor are a gift. You make me think and question things that need to be questioned, and the whole totally cracking up thing is the gorgeous cherry on top! https://floweringink.wordpress.com
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I just love you, thank you so much
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I can totally relate to this!!! I get super annoyed when the posts start on Facebook with parents ‘bragging’ about how much they bought their kids it’s like a competition they don’t NEED all those toys, how can they even play with them all and all I really think about is that there are kids who won’t receive anything!
Rant over!
Your post made me laugh and cry at the same time, you rock❤️
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I am giving my friends (a) a coffee bean necklace and (b) a mug that looks like a paint can with paint rolling down it. Both from Etsy. My one friend loves coffee and my other friend is an artist. I hope she can use the mug for brushes. 😁 I am giving my family more traditional gifts like a sweater and toys.
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Just love all your posts!! ❤️
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First of all, let me reach across the generations and retroactively drop some “things you need” into your young Christmases. I didn’t have much growing up, either, but what I had is yours. Matching socks? If they fit both feet, they match, damn you very much.
Secondly, wow.
A quick, stupid way I related to what you said in the walking-and-puffing portion of your story is this:
My Rams suck. At least, they normally do, but this year – for some inexplicable reason – they are winning games. And I’m a Prime member. So, I turned to my wife when they started winning decisively, back in Sept, and told her: I’m buying myself something small and cool from Amazon every time they win this year!
They have won nine games now. The most they’ve won since 2003. I have ordered something small and stupid, worth $15-$30, each time. Let’s call it $22.50 each, for an average. That’s $202.50 worth of bonuses for yours truly (plus a $70 jersey and two sets of slippers for the missus). I can tell you I’ve thrown away a lot of money on stuff I would not have bought if (a) I didn’t have disposable income, and (b) I wasn’t a dumb American with Amazon Prime.
In the meantime, houses are burning down in California. People have been without power in Puerto Rico for months. Somebody, somewhere, is building this cheap crap I’ve bought, and barely making a day’s wage doing it. Someone else is looking for work because Amazon owns everything, and the company they used to work for can’t compete.
I’m not saying you touched my heart, and made me feel bad, except that’s what I’m saying.
Today, you made me laugh. You made me think. You made me better, probably. You also made me respond with a comment that’s as long as a Senate tax bill. What else can a fella ask for in a blog?
You are absolutely amazing, DG. I’m going to click all your links, buy you another coffee, and probably send you some cheap, dumb Rams stuff when we make the playoffs. Thank YOU for being YOU!
[and for anyone else that made it this far: Hi, I’m Tom! 👋 👋 👋 Yeah, that Tom. Sidebar Tom. I can be reached at http://www.tombeingtom.com/ for true stories of kindness and love, for habitual heresy, and for free beer. Come say hi!]
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Tom! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I didn’t have time to read this entire comment, but I have decided to pass it into law ( see what I did there) Truly, thank you for your amazingness, your support, your coffees, and your blog. I’m not crying, you’re crying! shut up!
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Hahaha! I do see what you did there, now I’m crying, too! 😂😂😂
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I’ve only ever given one or two gag gifts, so I couldn’t imagine having so many of them given to everyone. It can be funny, but seeing it from your point of view, it really makes you think. There’s so many better things your money can be spent on – I’m more practical these days anyways.
As always, your posts have me laugh! Loved it ☺️
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So much heart in this post (as always). I’m glad that one of us can write like a proper blogger (Hello gecko vs mince pie logic *blond*). I just want more of this..seriously , write a book.
I’m a fan of giving services or experience. This year I paid for five birthdays parties for my Filipino community friends and their family back home. I got pictures back of people hugging and laughing and eating cake likes there is no tomorrow . Yeah, sounds like a bad American movie actually but… real life. My husband is crying ..but out of sadness that he is getting no gifts as I sent our savings to the Philippines.
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❤ Amazing post… thanks for sharing, you never fail to deliver…🙌
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My goodness, I can’t imagine opening up a Dora Explorer Backpack. And the idea that they wouldn’t explain the “gag” gift thing first. And I agree- I prefer practical gifts. I love getting a stocking full of toiletries and not needing to buy toothpaste or body wash until June or maybe even until next Christmas.
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As a child of firmly mediocrely middle class parents, I can’t relate to this. But as a human being with compassion who is not an asshole, I CAN. I’ll go return the Dora pencil bag I got you. Thanks for writing this, you star
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I have never really understood the whole idea of a ‘gag gift’ and I had to just search it into Google to help me understand it. I always prefer to give people gifts that they like rather than just give it for the ‘gag’ kind of thing if you get me. It’s just me though, I do like humour gifts which are probably similar to ‘gag gifts’.
Anyway, another post that was written lovely and I adore your writing style.
🙂
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Thank you❤
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I love your blog, your writing style but most of all your candor. I love that you put it out there, the truth. Thank you for sharing a part of your life that is truly relatable to me.
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Thank you so much! ❤
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At the risk of sounding like a communist hippie fuck, “gag gifts” are the most capitalist bullshittery ever devised. It is literally wasting your money on useless garbage that will literally be thrown out in a week (or even at the end of the day). Getting one just to fuck with people before opening the real stuff can be funny, but piles and piles of them? That’s a waste of money that makes my just-this-side-of-the-poverty-line blood boil.
I am all for spending money on loved ones (when I have money–this year I don’t, so I’m baking everyone cookies). But, I try to get things that are, like you said, at least a little useful. At the very least, something the person would actually want to keep! I look at Christmas as the time to blow money on things for people they wouldn’t actually buy for themselves. My mother collects crystal figurines, but she lives paycheck to paycheck and stopped buying them for herself. So, I’ll get her one (next year, when I have a job). It’s not practical in the traditional sense, but it’s something she enjoys and she will put on a shelf and look at fondly and think, “Remember that time one of my kids didn’t suck?”
Gag gifts are the things you buy when you have to participate in the “Secret Santa” in the office full of people you hate. “Here, I bought you a five dollar statue of a reindeer taking a shit! It’s funny! I thought it would make you laugh! Hahaha! Merry Christmas where’s the alcohol so I can stand to be around you fuckers?”
If anyone in my real life ever pulled some gag gift BS, I would make them eat it. You know what’s a funny gag, Susan? Paying off my student loans, Susan. That would be HILARIOUS, Susan. Do that, SUSAN.
I love that “dirty, dirty bitch” thing, though. I may have to do that.
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I’ve never celebrated Christmas a day in my life, and quite frankly, I’m glad that I can bow out during this season. My parents took in foster kids our entire childhood, and often they would celebrate it. The state would come by and bring them 2 or 3 toys and maybe some clothes and they were happy to have something with a new smell. We went shopping in strictly thrift stores in my household. So now when I hear all of the stuff my friends are buying for every damn person they know, it fills me with unease and disbelief. I love the recommendations you’ve made here though, services, supporting their passion, etc. Good stuff, girlie.
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Oh wow, I didnt know your parents fostered children, what was that like for you?
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It was pretty awesome for the most part. There were 3 siblings and then always one or two foster kids, so plenty of kids to play with. Most of the kids were cool with a couple crazies tossed in 😅 Sometimes they would take siblings to keep them together. One bro and sis stayed with us two years and the last one 4 years. They treated all the kids the same. As an adult raising kids, idk how they managed, but they’ve got big hearts.
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Thats awesome! I think maybe having a huge brood of kids to entertain each other is less work! haha! (probably not even a little bit) I have considered fostering but I don’t think I am emotionally ready for that yet.
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I loved this. I grew up with middle class parents and I had the family that had Christmas presents flowing out from under the tree. However, the difference is that I grew up with baby boomer parents. My mom grew up in a one bedroom shack with half a dozen other siblings. So, that being said, I was the kid that got what we needed – new clothes for the winter, new coat, socks. They did indulge in a toy or two, but not a dozen or more like some of the other kids that were my age. They definitely didn’t go by my wish list – at least not until my siblings and I got our own jobs and could buy the things we needed for ourselves. Only then did they start asking what we wanted. Even so, my siblings and I still tell them things we need or definitely could use – jeans, a book for classes, etc.
This year is the first year where my parents asked what I wanted and I said “I don’t need any more STUFF. I need to get rid of the stuff I have. But if you insist – gift cards to Barnes and Noble… and socks.” I would rather give than get.
I love, love, love you list of gift ideas – it is still something, but useful. That’s how I shop. For example, I overheard my mom say she needed new pajamas for Christmas because she only has summer pajamas and needs new warm pajamas for the winter. Guess what mom is getting! I definitely think we as human beings need to stop and listen to what our loved ones say they need.
I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season!
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Sweet Sweet gift cards, like manna from heaven. hahahaha! OH yea, people will give you their christmas lists inadvertently if you just listen to them once and a while lol!!!
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Wow, I’ve never heard of joke-gift giving before. This is why I can’t stand all the hype surrounding Christmas this lat ten (or more) years. People get stressed and in debt buying gifts for their second-aunties-budgies-babysitter who they last saw in 1998. It’s hideous. I’d far rather have a quiet Christmas with my immediate family and the fact that we’re all in the same room for an hour is a gift in itself. I feel for ya, luv. Personally I preferred the sound of your Christmas’ in the shelters, at least these are thoughtful, needed things. Great article, thanks xx
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Word!!!!!
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ALL the gifts were gag gifts??? How awful! What a waste of money! The Hubby and I are considering skipping gifts for one another this year (though stockings are still on the menu!) since we generally buy what we want (and can afford) throughout the year.
I can imagine your horror at that first Christmas… do they still do that?
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Hey! They weren’t all gag gifts, but there was a good 1,000 dollars worth that just got thrown out the next day 😦 It’s been ten christmas’s since the first one and my thoughtful gifts have shamed everyone into order hahaha!
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What a relief! My background wasn’t quite as stark as your own, but my father was ‘dirt floor poor’, as they say, when he was growing up, and he scrimped and saved every penny. Wanton wastefulness of ANYTHING was unheard of, and he passed that along to us. I’m glad to hear you’ve been a good influence! 😀
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