How to Make Money When You Are Too Crazy to Work

Woman in a blue wig and owl mask

It is my sincerest hope that this post doesn’t resonate with most of my readers. I hope you can wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, pour yourself some joe, and work a long and productive day at your nine to five job, five days a week until you die… at your desk.

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But I wanted to put a resource out there for my readers who have bouts of “I am just too fucking crazy right now to work a real job.” Because despite what we may think, it happens to the best of us.

I have very good mental health. I wake up happy, I don’t experience any kind of explosive emotions (unless, of course, I see dogs locked in hot cars or someone chewing really loudly then, naturally, all bets are off). For the most part, I’m a pretty stable Sally.

That being said, all of my immediate family members are severely mentally ill. Like, screaming-at-mailboxes-and-threatening-to-kill me mentally ill. I also have PCOS and when I have that perfect combo of “daddy is stalking me again” and “I’m five weeks late for my period,” sometimes I get too fucking crazy to work.

I have had times in my life where my family situation, my health, or my work situations have been too much to endure. I have left jobs because of sexual harassment so bad I would have felt safer on the set of “Good Will Humping.” During those times, the idea of putting on a cute outfit, getting a Starbucks, and talking with all the scary people has left me noping right the fuck out of my job. But that’s the thing about life: crazy or not, you always gotta have that sweet cash to pay those not-so-sweet bills.

So what do you do when you just snap? Your fibro or anxiety or piece-of-shit boss force you into the world of unemployment? How do you pay the bills when you’ve had it with the nine to five, and it’s had it with you? Luckily, DG has you covered.

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Here are seven things I have done for money at my nuttiest:

Poshmark

I made $600 profit my first 30 days on Poshmark. I took a few thirty minute YouTube courses on what brands to thrift/buy at a discount/pull off of strangers on the streets while screaming, “Gimme that cardigaaaaan,” etc. I snap a few photos, list it, and bam: money in the bank.

I can not say enough good things about Poshmark. It’s easy, free to list, and it’s an eco-friendly business model. If you want to check out my store here it is:

https://poshmark.com/closet/tiarasoft

Seamstress

Don’t skip over this one if you can’t sew. Seriously. I am a fairly accomplished seamstress but the idea of accidentally ruining someone’s things is more anxiety-inducing than a board meeting. When it comes to freelance seamstress work, take a one-hour time investment to learn how to hem an item. That’s it. Doing a hem is easy peasy lemon squeezy. Measure, fold, sew. It’s a lucrative skill you can pick up in under an hour. I do a three-item minimum, $10 an item, and run a free ad through my local Facebook Marketplace.

Housecleaning

I love to do side hustle housekeeping. The vast majority of the time, I end up dusting rich people’s antiques while they are in Bermuda for 40 bucks an hour, but I also love to take on a challenge. I enjoy cleaning, I enjoy beautifying my surroundings, and I enjoy getting paid under the table. (Joking, IRS man, joking! I always pay my taxes, sir. You didn’t hear that you handsome thing. Uh oh, I hope you’re not going to spank me for being a naughty… woah, woah, sorry, I’m back!)

I always urge people who want to start some house cleaning on the side to go through Facebook, only take on friends of friends or referrals, no single men, and just practice good safety sense.

Labor pool

I enjoy the labor pool. It’s all the normal work type stuff you would do but with the knowledge, that like meat in the grocery store that expires that day, you get what you get. There’s little expectation from your boss du jour that you be a completely healthy, functioning individual. Sometimes all it takes is not having the pressure to be normal that allows us to act normally.

Luxury products

In almost every town there is a hoity-toity store that sells shit for prices with commas in it. It makes me shudder, but it also brings out the opportunist in me. I like to go to my local thrift, buy all of the moth-eaten cashmere, wash it, comb it, and turn it into 100% cashmere throw pillows. For about $6, I can make a pillow that retails for between $100 and $250.

If your local snooty store doesn’t want to carry your product, whether that be soaps, oils, decor, fancy chocolates, or art, take to the online marketplace. But you should know, they ALWAYS DO! Don’t be afraid of the snooty stores. Find a local one, ask to talk to the store buyer, tell them that you are a local, female-owned business, that your line is currently carried at ten other locations (you know, your bathroom, your living room, the trunk of your car, they don’t need to know the details), and that you would like to be considered for their next season. 90% of the time, it works every time!

Express Writers

Express Writers: the ultimate cash cow for the anti-social. Well, maybe not a cash cow. Maybe more like a cash calf. Or cash… goat. It doesn’t pay awesome, but it is a legit side hustle that doesn’t require you to move from the comfort of your padded cell.

You turn in a couple of things that demonstrate your basic writing skill, and they send you some boring writing work. From writing short ebooks about the history of basket weaving, or blurbs for people’s business bios, Express Writers can offer a steady stream of mediocre work that you can do from home.

https://expresswriters.com/

Airbnb

We all have resources at our disposal if we learn how to look for them. Uber, Airbnb, and Parklee (where you rent out your driveway) can be great ways to leverage what you already have into an income stream.

It’s OK

I know that we are led to believe that the career path runs smoothly for everyone except us. That it isn’t ok to be burnt out, unmotivated, or just too fucking crazy to work right now. In reality, I don’t know a single person who hasn’t had a life crisis that has interfered with their cash flow. It’s going to be ok.

If it is taking you longer than expected to get back on your feet, reach out and don’t beat yourself up. Even if you do have a steady nine to five, cultivating a skill that can bring in additional income is always wise.


What have you done for some quick cash? Let me know in the comments below!

102 thoughts on “How to Make Money When You Are Too Crazy to Work

  1. Okay, I’m swaying a little towards your being a Unicorn. We shall see. Seriously, thank you. I love these ideas so much-especially the expressswriters.com one! I just got hired for the very first time to do a small article for a local magazine. (I am so excited.) I really want to get back into writing! Right now, I do all sorts of odd jobs in order to make ends meet. I work part-time for a large church where I handle their finances. I work a few free lance accounting jobs too; but I love to cook, so I am always picking up side catering jobs. BTW-I mentioned you in my last blog. (happy face) I hope you will check it out. ~Peace~

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I am so happy I found your blog. I may not be screaming-at-mailboxes crazy… I’m more like so-depressed-that-I-can’t-even-do-what-I-do-best-which-is-eating-tacos-obviously, with a dash of my-husband-gives-me-my-crazy-pills-so-I-don’t-take-them-all crazy. I gave my notice to quit my cushy corporate job effective July 3rd to move the needle towards eating tacos like a champ and taking the right amount of crazy pills like a good girl, and to also pursue something I’m passionate about … you know, once passion decides to makes an appearance back into my life. In the meantime, seeing some ideas for stress free side hustles is so helpful. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. “once passion decides to makes an appearance back into my life.” I am literally doing a post on this sentence next week! Sometimes we just die inside don’t we? I have had so many deaths and revivals. What are you going to pursue?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can’t wait to read it! I just posted a piece on losing the ‘sexy’ type passion while being depressed – such a buzz kill it is! I’ve had many deaths and revivals in all of the passions as well. I just can’t wait for that passion and motivation to do anything at all comes back! I mean, I know I used to LOVE hiking, but dragging my ass to a mountain seems like such a, well – mountain of a task these days! Anyhow, I’m thinking about pursuing something dog-related or perhaps a profession where I can write and create. My friend is a copywriter and she seems to really like it. I made a promise to myself that I would stop chasing money and chase health and happiness instead. (And hopefully still pay the bills?) Fingers crossed!

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Some great ideas here! When I lost all my money and was about to get evicted, I made rent (just) by busking. The only instrument I can play is the piano, which obviously isn’t exactly portable, so I just sang unaccompanied. It was terrifying but it made me enough cash to get by until I found steady work again.

    http://www.jeviscachee.com

    Liked by 6 people

  4. Expresswriters seems right up my alley, lol. I am going to check out the website later. ☺ I’ve always wanted to try freelance writing but all the sites I’ve tried always have writing assignments for topics I literally have zero knowledge on. Hopefully expresswriters is different!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Nat, I wrote a piece for a vet on the euthanasia process, a step by step for basket weaving, and one for “floating” in those weird hyno chambers and had no idea about any of them before I researched. Its actually a really good motivator to pick up a wealth of knowledge on things you never knew you wouldnt find interesting haha! Its like being a much less exciting cary bradshaw 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cool! I’m most curious about how you conduct research for those topics. If I did write on topics similar to those, how do I know that the websites or sources I am using are reputable and accurate?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Great question! I like to do local interviews. Because I can wear cute outfits lol. But if you are feeling more introverted, emailing works great too. For instance, if I had to write a piece on “how to be prepared for your first martial arts class” I would call or write all my local studios and ask them what I should bring/expect on my first lesson

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  5. I just donated two huge bags of clothes to friends… is it too late to snatch them all back and sell them? Thanks so much for these ideas. I need to dabble in each one like yesterday. One thing I’ve done to make some cash is buying used furniture and reselling the improved version.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oooooh! I am soooo interested in that!!! I have a class at the community college in upholstery that starts this summer! How did you learn/what do you do exactly. Also, Hey girl hey!!!

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      1. Hey, my love! That’s awesome. I’ve never taken a class before, but I kill it with some fabric and a staple gun. I drive around on bulk trash day or go to thrift stores for cheap pieces to fix up. Then I stick them up on OfferUp and Facebook, etc.

        I also look for pieces that don’t require upholstery because it’s just easier and zero dollars on fabric. For example, side and coffee tables. I typically use spray paint or chalk paint, which is magic. Welcome back! 💜

        Liked by 2 people

  6. I tried to sell my body working the corner. But I guess there was either no one at the corner or no one wanted my body for the price I was selling it. It had a comma in the price. In all honesty, great tips, though! This summer we’ll have a yard sale and maybe make enough to pay for a meal at McDonalds. I tried the writing thing, but it turned out to be more work than the pay was worth. I may try again later.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. “Good Will Humping” oh my god hilarious. Even though sexual harassment is horrible. Sorry you had to deal with that. I’ve done babysitting and personal assistant work in between job-jobs. I’ve also taught ballet and yoga. This is a great list. I love how ballsy you are…”it works 90% of the times every time.” So glad you’re back.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I’ve edited papers for cash! Apparently people would pay hundreds of bucks for you to edit their thesis, school essays and business plans. And you’re right: all of us have had times when our mental health did not allow us to function in a nine to five.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Hi Lauren, No, I didn’t. I started editing papers in college. People would give me their school essays and graduate school essays. Then, in grad school, friends continued to ask for my help and referring me to their friends and relatives. It’s time-consuming, but a great side hustle!

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      2. I was charging people $5 a paper in high school and got shut down by the faculty because “people weren’t learning” or something like that (I never straight up corrected but offered my help and did detailed explanations of why I did something, etc). In undergrad I did some Fiverr work but it was too sporadic. In grad school I got paid to tutor freshmen undergrads in their English classes and help with writing papers.

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  9. It’s taking me WAAAYYYYY too forking long to get back on my feet after quitting my last job. WAY TOO LONG. This is also driving me crazy. But I will take a look at the things you suggest for some extra cash, thanks!

    Liked by 3 people

  10. “Don’t skip over this one if you can’t sew.” Okay you caught me…hahah… I will not be threading not one single needle, much less a sewing machine. I hatee sewing! Seriously though, great list. It was only recently I’ve been trying to increase my cash flow with the hope of not having to die at my desk… I have explored babysitting I hate kids but I love playing with the little critters *for a short period of time* and food, where I am from put anything in bread or serve rice and you’ve got yourself a business! I’ve actually started a post on this, girl get out of my head!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. All great ideas…. might have to look into some. It’s always good to broaden horizons and have extra cash. Maybe I need to volunteer my time less, and actually hustle?!? I don’t know if I can make the switch… But freakin kids are EXPENSIVE as the get older! So is the amount of wine needed to deal with their shenanigans!

    Liked by 2 people

  12. oh my goodness thank you for this. I cannot even count how many times I have felt like a crazy person for not knowing exactly what I want to do with my life (and having frequent panic attacks for literally no reason.) I drive to my 9-5 every morning under the impression that I might be too crazy to even be holding my job, but that’s okay because I am holding it and doing things I love whenever I clock out. Great side money ideas also! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Currently Airbnb’ing my guest bedroom. And I just discovered Turo where you can rent your own car to people. I will be thoroughly pissed if someone crashes my car, but I’m inclined to try it.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. WOW, another amazing post! I am pretty stable most of the time, really unlike everyone else in my life! I go a little insane with people chewing loudly, especially gum at their desks at work! I feel a little homicidal. Dogs in a hot car with the windows up gets my blood boiling as well. There is a law that you can break the window to help the poor dog though. Thankfully, I have not seen that lately.
    I never knew there were various ways to make money online. Thank you so much for this great info!!.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Alyssa! You can almost squeeze money out of a stone if you need it lol! I have left notes, and waited for the owners to return to the car to ream them about their dogs…..I’m pretty bad ass lol

      Liked by 1 person

  15. That one where you don’t have to leave your little writer-cave (or talk to people) sounds about my speed.
    I used to have a Dreaded Day Job which sucked the passion and energy right out of my life but happily I left to be a writer. (Sign of a bad job: no one asks why you’re leaving, because it makes perfect sense.)
    I figure if this is what God wants me to be doing, he’ll make sure I can keep doing it. Four years (and one novel) down the track and I still have a roof over my head and food on the table. (Well, actually, food in the fridge, because it keeps better that way, but you know what I mean.)

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Reblogged this on The Cupcake Witch and commented:
    These aren’t just for those of you suffering mental illness. These are also good side hustles if you don’t have a lot of time to work a regular job (because I can’t be in class and at work at the same time) or you have little kids you need to be home taking care of. Read this, then go get paid!

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I have some tutoring gigs. These are people who want to perfect their English, not test-prep type stuff, and I have occasionally canceled when hiding in the deep cloud of depression. I give as much notice as I can, and of course, never say that’s why. “I’m not feeling well” is enough. But I go regularly enough that this is my extra wine or hairstyle money.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Tutoring is a good one! I am trying to be more honest about my cancelations, its my great challenge. Its hard, because professionalism is so important to me and I don’t want to “TMI” on my clients, but de-stigmatizing mental health is also important to me. I havent had a bout in over a year, but the next time I do I hope to summon the courage to say that I am too fucking nuts to work today 😉

      Like

  18. Oh I enjoyed every single word of your post… I was ‘lucky’ enough that my brain shut down on me close enough to retirement that I ‘simply’ took an early one – along with the significant cut in income that comes with early retirement. I will definitely be checking out expresswriters – that sounds like something I would actually enjoy – But what REALLY got me in your post was the screaming-at-mailboxes crazy family stories. I really thought my family was unique in that respect. It is something I rarely talk about with anyone, and have never dared write about. Thank you for so humorously letting me know I’m not alone…just LOVED this post…❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  19. My daughter is graduating from high school next month and is looking for ways to make money for college tuition. She knows how to sew, so I’m going to suggest she try a couple of your ideas. Thanks & so glad to see you pop up on my feed again!

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Dude. You are fucking amazing and an incredible inspiration. I need some side hustle for my destination dreams. Thanks, girl, for the tips and the motivation – you are like a superhero or something, and I am forever one of your biggest fans! ❤️🇨🇦

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Sell, sell, sell! I’ve been selling things on a ‘small neighborhood site’ for years… when they walk in to buy an item I usually have an array of other items for them to choose from just sitting there. And, yes, I take checks! Who cares? (I have two big dogs so negotiations usually go well, ha, (and no I never leave my dogs in a hot car, fucking idiots!) I’m in the midwest, I don’t have a lot of luck with name brands, but the weirder the item the more money it will go for… think Madonna’s ‘sex’ book, Jesus pictures, and mid-century modern ANYTHING… big $$ right now. I do not use craigslist. Damn Girl keep hustling! ~kim

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  22. the only things I’ve done for extra cash are speaking engagements that were work related. But damm, girl. You have worked for a lot of crazies haven’t you. Makes you wonder how well the companies they word for can be doing if they hire Neanderthals to ru. The show

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  23. Thank you so much. This is such a great post. You are such an awesome, inspirational person whilst also being super generous and helpful to others. I don’t think anyone needs any other advice, self help books etc, just follow your blog for everything they need x

    Like

  24. Okay, I admit to quickly scrolling through the comments section to see who answered “what have you done for some quick cash?” salaciously. Thank you, stomperdad, you did not disappoint.

    As for the little things I did for cash between my transition from 18 years of “miserable-self-employed-mower-man” to 14 years now of “happy-second-in-charge-sales-man”, well … I got my tax preparer’s cert and banged the f* out of some taxes for a while and I got me a striped shirt and reffed up some high school sports for a bit. I enjoyed both of them, as a matter of fact. Except basketball. Basketball parents are fucking mean.

    Thank you for sharing these clever ideas with us. Now that I know it only takes an hour to become a seamster, I’m less likely to put up with my boss’ shit. Not that he ever gives me any, but if he should change his predictable tune, I’ll sew my way right out of his life! Or maybe clean his house.

    At the very least I’ll find stomperdad’s corner and see if I can make a living at half the price. 😉

    Happy weekend, sister!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Not being able or willing to return to an abusive situation at a job gave me a reason to start my blog. I don’t get paid for it, but it keeps me alive better than money. Retirement was the result. . .I was close, but not there when it happened so there were a few rough years. Love your writing style and core honesty!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Things I Can Do At Home On A Flexible Deadline In My Pyjamas is how I choose my work, because it’s hit or miss whether or not I’ll feel up to working on any particular day.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. This is great. Currently working a full time and literally kind of going through a mental break because I am just soooo not feeling this way of life. Beyond ready for a change!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Ken and I used to have an antique business on the side and made some money at that, but never enough to retire. When I have time, I take furniture that I’ve found or bought on the cheap, refurbish it, and resell it. It’s fun and profitable!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Express Writers: the ultimate cash cow for the anti-social. Well, maybe not a cash cow. Maybe more like a cash calf. Or cash… goat. -you’re hilarious. I’m gonna check that out. Mental illness runs in my family too yet despite the volcano that erupted over my childhood and the floods of cortisol pumping thru my veins mostly every day I function. It sucks. Some mornings when I’m giving myself a pre-shower pep talk I secretly hope my nervous system will finally shut down. Alas. Resilient af. How come winning the lottery or discovering we’re royalty with a trust fun weren’t options?

    Liked by 2 people

  30. Boy if I’d had someone to tell me not to deal with single men when I first started house cleaning, i’d have done so much better. As it stands, my one and only client in 2008 was a single man in his 40’s who, ever every time I finished the chores, asked me to give him a massage with lotion- just on his back, thank the Gods. But still!

    Seriously, ladies… Don’t take on single male clients of any age for that kind of work. And if you do, make sure you have a secondary helper who’ll go with you and split the work load (and money).

    Liked by 1 person

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