Stop Silencing Your Excuses

I think Nike killed the feminine gift of place making. Nike and their athletic gear counterparts, airing shiny commercials of powerful warriors hurtling over their obstacles, barreling out of planes without parachutes, growling down wolves who stood between them and their bench press. Powerade and Gatorade drip from the pores of gods and goddesses who finished their 26-mile run across the Mojave desert. Just. Do. It. No excuses. The only thing standing between you and your goals is you.

Winning Lionel Messi GIF by Gatorade Football - Find & Share on GIPHY

This cultural shift has walked over the gentle necessary healing art of place making. It has silenced the guiding voice telling you what you need to support yourself in your journey. No parachute? No problem. Hurl yourself out of that plane, land in a sandpit, run those miles. Don’t stop yourself. No legs? This guy scaled a mountain without any. How dare you breathe an excuse as to why you can’t meal prep?

In practice, this has not brought out the Spartan warriors in all of us. Instead, it’s been crippling.

In a world where all objections are an excuse, all considerations are excuses, and all excuses are unacceptable, your guiding voice can not take care of you. You feel anxious and depressed because listening to your excuses is shameful.

I argue that the journey toward accomplishing your goals must start with deep listening to and acceptance of your excuses. Not only start with, but end with, and middle with. For a lot of women it’s not just the starting of a task, but the middle, the ongoing. We silence our concerns, our aches, the things that don’t feel quite right. We stop listening to our inner voice that wants a tweak, a change, some variety, and shame those voices as “excuses” and ourselves as “excuse-makers.”

In reality, our excuses are the key to sustainable change, greater well-being, and stronger self-esteem.

What is place making?

You already know what place making is. You felt it when you read the words. You can only bury the divine urge, not kill it.

Place making is evaluating your surroundings, your circumstance, and yourself and asking what would make it safer, more comfortable, and more sacred. Simply, what needs to be put in place to usher in a change.

You can use place making to make wise decisions that endure hardship. Place making is the analytical interview to test the worthiness and hardiness of something new.

It needs excuses to learn the weak points, the pleasure points, the things standing in its way. It’s how we accomplish our goals and have greater wellbeing.

Example:

1.) I want to start taking better care of my skin by wearing a wide brim hat when I go outside.

2.) Excuse: Hats are uncomfortable and they blow off my head when it’s windy.

3.) Silencing: That’s an excuse, wear a hat.

4.) Outcome: You either just don’t wear a hat or start to wear a hat, find it uncomfortable and a hassle in windy weather, and eventually stop wearing it.

5.) Shame: You take shit care of your skin and deserve sunspots.

Example 2:

1.) I want to start taking better care of my skin by wearing a wide brim hat when I go outside.

2.) Excuse: Hats are uncomfortable and they blow off my head when it’s windy

3.) Place making: You are right. You deserve to be comfortable. You deserve to take care of your skin. What makes you feel uncomfortable in your hat?

4.) Excuse: They are too heavy and they blow off my head in the wind

5.) Place making: What would make them more comfortable?

6.) Excuse: If they were lighter and stayed on my head

7.) Place making: You can buy a hat made from a lighter material like straw with an adjustable soft leather chin strap

8.) Outcome: You wear your hat, you accomplish your goal, your skin looks great until you are 100.

Interview With The Vampire GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

This process comes so naturally when you don’t silence and shame your inner voice. It is ok to prioritize your comfort. You want to start meditating but you find your environment chaotic? It is ok to make a place to do so. You want to start jogging but your feet hurt? Which part of the foot? Which shoes? Ice or heat? Is meal prep boring or is it lonely? Start to acknowledge the amazing value and exquisite wisdom of your excuses.

Your excuses will always get the better of you if you don’t truly understand them. Your excuses are opportunities to better understand your needs. They are opportunities to better understand your homes, your bodies, your relationships, and your divine nature that wants to create beautiful ideal spaces in ourselves and in our surroundings. Practice place making by listening to, not judging, your excuses.


What goal do you struggle to accomplish and how do you feel about your excuses?

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19 thoughts on “Stop Silencing Your Excuses

  1. Such a great post. I really like the positive spin you use to change perspective – grasping the limitation, but in a way that understands the feelings and then offering a solution that embraces the feelings and also solves the problem.
    Simply beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! I had no idea how much I needed to read this post until I did. I thought I’d find a humorous take on why I should allow myself to veg on the couch in the evenings instead of Get Sh*t Done, but you really turned my expectations on their head. What a thoughtful, *useful* post. You’ve taken all those little excuses I make all the time and given me something to think about when I make them. Thank you! I really appreciate it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love this, and the skill of problem-solving that comes along with it. It really is something you have to consciously learn how to do, to get over that victimized mentality, but it’s so worth the hard work!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post, thank you. I have a very strong willpower with everything I do except myself!!! I have had some horrible knocks in life, Dad died when I was 15, Mom died when I was 20, only child so left on my own. I survived and thrived but then at 35 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, which killed my Mom, and I had our two sons aged 1 and 5. At 50 I had to have my right hip replaced!!!! I have a great DH who has been wonderful through it all. However because of all the cancer treatments I gained weight and then the hip surgery I have had to scale back my exercise. SO long story short I am still overweight. I have a personal diet plan which does work and was working before hip surgery but since then I have been unable to stick to it!!!!

    I cook from scratch every night for DH and our Boys and I think after a long day at work the thought of cooking two meals!!! I know this is an excuse and I could meal prep my meals at the weekend but it is all time!!! Excuse, excuse!!!

    However thanks to your post I am going to try this and work out a plan so I can stick to it!!!

    Thanks. Stay safe

    Hugs Susie xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, Susie, thank you so much for your comment. I am so sorry for your losses =( Be gentle with yourself, especially since you are such a tough strong person, people like you deserve gentleness as much as everyone else. ❤️❤️❤️

      Like

  5. I appreciated this post! This is something that I’ve been working on more recently. This concept of “place making” will help me be more gentle with myself. I never really thought to analyze my excuses, and use them as vehicles to still achieve my goal. This was really helpful! Thank you for sharing this! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Please excuse me while I revel in the mind-blowing brilliance of this post.

    Mind if I print this out and frame it?

    Still reveling.

    I’m going to dwell on this one all night. I love this.

    Liked by 1 person

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